Sweet Tweet

It has been widely reported that shortly after filing for divorce in Los Angeles,CA from cheating husband Tony Parker, Eva Longoria tweeted a very amicable message about the divorce as follows "It is with great sadness that after 7 years together, Tony and I have decided to divorce. We love each other deeply and pray for each other's happiness."

However, the tweet was actually edited by Eva's PR person. Eva's original tweet was as follows:

That Mother @#!$##!! . . . . I'll see your a@@ in court!

Bad Hair Day

There are two types of people in this world. Those with good hair and those with bad hair. Now, there is a percentage of people in this world with no hair. . . and I categorize these people as good hair. Why? . . . because they don't have to spend a small fortune on hair care products.

Now, if you fall into the "bad hair" category, beware: There are some people who have learned to capitalize on those of us who suffer from bad hair. Have you any idea what it will cost for a Brazilian Blow Out, Keratin hair relaxing treatment, hair smoothing serums, Moroccan Oil, ionic straightening irons, and the list goes on and on.

Now on the other hand, some people have learned to capitalize on their own bad hair. Consider, Snooki from Jersey Shore with her hair bump, Donald Trump, with his famous comb over, Don King or Rev Al Sharpton who wear their bad hair proudly. NFL star Troy Polamalu even went so far as to have his bad hair insured for 1 Million dollars. These people have all turned their bad hair into an asset. So for these people, you can consider that they turned their bad hair good.

The moral of this blog: Many of us are sitting on a small fortune and we never even realized it! ♥

Random Thoughts

Can I add traffic school to my resume?

Radical Chicana

My husband works in downtown Los Angeles for a non profit organization that works for a variety of causes for blue collar workers. One of the movements is called Justice for Janitors. Recently my husband came home from work with a very special gift for baby girl. A children's book called "Si Se Puede" autographed by the author, Diana Cohn. This children's book is a story about a young boy who is very proud of his mother who is a janitor.

My husband tried his best to explain to baby girl how special this book is.
Hubby: Mija, this is a very special book. You have to take very good care of it.

I chime in:
Me: Yes mija, you can't write . . .or color on this book . . . or wrinkle the pages. You have to take very good care of it.

My Hubby continues: . . . If you take really good care of this book,. . . when you get older, you can give this book to your children.

Baby girl looks up with her eyes as big as I have ever seen them and answers back:

. . . . But Papi. . .I don't want kids!


Sorry Papi, this little Radical Chicana is already challenging your assumption that she is supposed to grow up and bare children . . .Si se puede! ♥

Conversations in the Car

So today was the first day of school for baby girl and big sis. After work, I make my rounds to pick up baby girl and big sis from school. On our short ride home, I get all the juicy 8th grade and 2nd grade gossip. . . Apparently, there are already cougars in the 8th grade. . . There is a girl in the 8th grade who likes dating 6th graders! ♥

Why I'm late for work

I'm really sorry I'm late for work. . .I actually got to work on time but I've been sitting in my car in the parking lot, plucking out the grey hairs that I just spotted when I looked in my rear view mirror. ♥

Detention Lady

While chatting with my daughters recently, they both became rather inquisitive about my job. I assumed they knew where I work since I have spent my entire career in the same field, but to my surprise, they had no idea what I do.

Big Sis: Mom, . . . so, where do you work again? Oxnard or Ventura?
Me: . . . I work in Ventura sweetie. . . that's why they call it Ventura College. . .cuz it's in Ventura.
Big Sis: . . . Ohhhhhh!

Baby Girl: But, I don't understand. . . what is it that you do at your job mom?
Big Sis tries to explain: Mom works at a college. . . kinda like your school.

Me: I work at Ventura College . . .I administer financial aid.

Now both look confused and I quickly realize why this seems like such a foreign concept to them:

1. My daughters have never experienced college and
2. My daughters have no concept of finances

Finally, baby girl looks at me as though the light bulb just went off in her head:

Baby Girl: Oh, I get it!. . . So are you like the detention lady?
Me: Yeah!. . . . Something like that. ♥

Brown Bag Lunch

So it's 7:15am and I'm rushing in the morning to pack a lunch for baby girl.
Me: What would you like for lunch sweetie?
Baby Girl: Peanut Butter and Jelly
Me: Mija, Peanut Butter and Jelly sounds like dessert . . .Wouldn't you like a turkey sandwich?
Big Sister: No Mom! She only eats PB&J
Me: Fine, I'll make a PB&J

I quickly assemble baby girl's lunch and in the interest of getting out the door on time, I pack the exact same thing for myself. No time for a separate menu as I have to make my rounds, getting everyone off to school so I can start my treck to the district office to work on our software implementation. I drop baby girl and big sister off at school and soon I'm making my way to the district office.

Before I know it, the morning has passed and the implementation team is dismissed for lunch. My colleagues and I all make our way to the multi-purpose room to eat our lunch and catch up on the latest from each campus. We spot an empty table, settle in, and each begin to bring out our lunch.

As I glance across the table, I notice that one colleague has a yummy salad with all of the vibrant greens from spinich to romaine, with fresh veggies and grilled salmon. Next, I notice another colleague who has a freshly boiled artichoke with the top perfectly sliced off and a small tupperware container with dip for her artichoke. I glance at yet another colleague who has green salad and a fresh variety of rasberries and blackberries.

I gaze down at my brown paper sack and realize it's is an exact clone of baby girl's lunch, complete with a peanut butter and jelly sandwich, a bag of frito corn chips, and a jello cup.

"I'm guessing no possibility of a lunch trade" I think to myself.

On the one hand, I feel like I should be a bit embarrassed by this child like lunch. . . but on the contrary, I can't help but feel all warm inside at the thought that I am eating baby girl's favorite. Without shame, I delightfully enjoy my PB&J, finish up my fritos and scoop out the last spoonful of my red jello cup. "So what's happening on your campus?" I ask my colleague, as I casually sip my capri sun. ♥

Conversations in the car

Sometimes we have conversations in the car, sometime we just sing like a canary:

You know you love me
I know you care
And I would never, not be there
You are my love
You are my heart
And we would never, ever, ever be apart
Are we an item?
Girl quit playin'
We're just friends,
What are you sayin'
Take another look right in my eyes
My first love, broke my heart for the first time

And now I'm like
Baby, baby, baby noo
I'm like
Baby, baby, baby noo
I'm like
Baby, baby, baby noo
I thought you'd always be mine (mine)

Justin Bieber ♥

A Few New Facebook Buttons

Lately I haven't had much time for Facebook. . . .But when I do get the chance to browse Facebook, I'm finding that the "like" button just isn't cutting it. Some of the posts on Facebook simply invoke a variety of emotions or responses that simply cannot be captured with the "like" button. So, I would like to suggest a few new Facebook buttons. For example:


Love it

Hate it

I completely disagree

I couldn't agree more

TMI (Too Much Information)

Too ambiguous

You're so mysterious

Amen sister

You have no shame

You appear to be an over-achiever

Is this picture airbrushed?

That was way too diplomatic

Are you running for office?

You should run for office!

Are you drunk posting?

I'll have whatever you're drinking

You need attention

You need Jesus

You need therapy

You need spell check

Just a few suggestions. . . until then, I will continue to use the comment section. ♥

. . . .We don't have pets . . .

But somewhere along the course of life, baby girl learned how to make the puppy dog face. . . . gets me every time! ♥

Laughing Out Loud

Throughout the day, my kids and I often communicate via text messaging. Most recently my kids brought it to my attention that my text message laugh "hehehe" is Geeky.

Although a bit offended by this criticism, I demo'd this laugh for them in person by placing my hand over my mouth, squinting my eyes and giving my best geeky laugh "hehehe".

It's meant to be geeky, I explained.

Just consider the options:
hehehe (my laugh of choice)
Hardy har har (too masculine. . .sounds like a pirate)
hahaha (not really my style)
hohoho (Santa laughing?!?)
LOL (Laughing out loud. . .too commonly used)
LMBO (Laughing my butt off. . .no one would get it. . .except my friend Dottie and I)
LMAO (Laughing my a** off. . .not appropriate)
LMFAO (Laughing my F-ing a** off. . . soooo not appropriate)

I think for now, I'll stick to my geeky laugh. . but if you have any suggestions for a cooler text laugh, please leave them in the comment section of this blog.
Thnx ♥

Paletero

I never carry cash. . . I wish my Paletero took credit cards!

Why you shouldn't ask me for directions

Recently, my husband and I have been casually looking around at various properties as we would really like a little more "living space".

We occasionally surf Craig's List or other venues to see what is available in the area. So my husband apparently stumbled upon a property on Craig's List that he thinks might be what we are looking for. He texts me to see if perhaps I might want to stop by to see the home with him after work. I agree.

We meet up at home and then we hop in my car and head toward the freeway. My husband starts making phone calls to arrange to view the home. So now my husband is driving, talking on the cell phone, and trying to take directions to this prospective home.

As he twists and turns, struggling to hold the phone to his ear with his shoulder, while driving, I take notice that he obviously could use a little help. I come to the rescue, shuffle through my purse to locate a pen, scurry to grab a random piece of paper from the car floor and begin scribbling down the directions as he speaks them out loud, repeating every direction as he hears it. My husband gives me "that look" as if to ask, "did you get that?" I reassure him that I got it by nodding my head. My husband hangs up the phone and we begin to follow my written directions toward the home:

Directions:
Exit the 101 on Lewis
Turn right on Adolfo
Turn left on "I can't read my own writing"
And then turn right on Calle "something or other"

Ok, sorry, not so helpful. . .this is why you shouldn't ask me for directions!

Conversations in the Car

So we are in our car on a road trip to Moreno Valley to spend Easter weekend with my husband's parents. My husband is doing the driving so I am gazing out the window. Soon, I spot a mountain sprinkled with bright golden California Poppies. Now my husband happens to love history and is just a wealth of knowledge. . . so I ask him. . .

Me: Is it true that it's ilegal to pick California Poppies?
Hubby: Yes, actually, it is the state flower so yes, it's ilegal to pick those.
Me: Really, wow, I've heard that before but I didn't know if it was true.

I think to myself as I gaze out the window. . .
I don't know anyone who ever went to prison for picking California Poppies. . . then again, I have never seen anyone with a fist full of California Poppies.

Hmmm, I guess no one has ever been prosecuted for picking poppies however, no one picks them. . .people just respect the law. . . .Boggles the mind.

These are the random conversations we have in the car.

My husband is a Diva. . . Who knew?

One of the great aspects of marriage is learning something new about your spouse each day. Most recently I learned that my husband is a Diva!

It all started with a busy Friday. My husband flew in to LAX from a business trip. As we had discussed, as soon as he got back into town, we would go shopping for outfits for our girls for a Quinceñera that we would be attending on the following day. . . .
Of course, we knew about the Quinceñera for more than 3 months however, being traditional Latinos, we waited until 30 minutes before the outlet center closed on the day before the Quinceñera to do our shopping.

Our strategy: divide and conquer. I would shop for my older daughter, while my husband shopped for baby girl. Once I finished shopping, I went see if my husband had any success finding baby girl a dress. As my daughter and I entered The Children's Place, we quickly realized we had just stumbled into a major Diva throw down.

My husband had found the perfect dress for baby girl, with medias, and the perfect white shoes to match. Unfortunately, another parent became very confrontational insisting that the shoes my husband had in his hands were actually the shoes she had intended to purchase for her daughter's recital (of course, it was the last pair in that size).

After several verbal exchanges, let's just say that my husband walked away with the shoes and thus, the Diva crown!

Virtual Thank You Note

In case you're reading this, thank you Mr. "I have no idea who you are but thank you for letting me cross in front of you to make it to my exit". . . . You made my day!

Very truly yours,
daydreaming driver who almost missed her exit

Sharing is Caring

Whenever my family goes out for dinner, we usually end up with a large bill and a ton of leftover food. In an effort to not waste money or food, we usually ask for "to-go" boxes. Unfortunately these "to-go" boxes usually either:
a. get spilled in the car,
b. get left behind in the car,
c. are found in the microwave a week later,
d. are found in the fridge 2 weeks later,
e. never make it off the kitchen counter, etc., etc.

Recently, my family had dinner out at Johnny Rockets. Without my prompting, everyone in the family paired up to share meals. . . .I was so impressed. No "to-go" boxes needed and a reasonable bill for dinner.

I think my family finally got the memo that we are in an economic downturn. . . . My son celebrated by springing for dessert. ♥♥♥

Blueberry Pastry Addiction

Is pastry rehab covered under the new health care reform?
. . . cuz I think I have a "pre-existing condition".

I'd like to audit the lunch lady

So today my husband volunteered to drop off the kids at school, since I had an early morning meeting. As per our usual routine, we call each other to confirm everyone got off to school ok.


Hubby: I left a check for the lunch lady today, cuz baby girl only had $1 left on the books.

Me: WTH? I just gave her ten dollars yesterday. Is lunch $9 per day?

Hubby: I don't know, I didn't ask any questions, I just wrote a check.

Me: I swear the lunch lady is embezzling money. . . .According to baby girl, the lunch lady "doesn't give change".

I want an itemized list of what baby girl is eating. Maybe it's time we audit the lunch lady.

Mission Impossible

Baby girl: Mom, can you find me some socks?
Me: Sure, no problem!
Baby girl: . . . But they have to match.
Me: . . . Ok, problem!

What's your side of the bed?

My side of the bed is on the left. It's closest to the TV. My husband's is on the right. However, if I am on my laptop, we have to switch sides, cuz then he can't see TV. Once I close my laptop, we have to switch back. It's mandatory.

If baby girl wants to cuddle, then she sneaks into our bed. Then baby girl gets the left side of the bed, and I get the middle. (much too hot, with body heat from my husband and my daughter. . . very uncomfortable.)
Since my husband commutes the farthest for work, he showers first. Then I get both sides of the bed. . .for twenty minutes . . .I sleep diagonally. This is the best 20-minute power nap of my day!

Madame Butterfly

So its Thursday morning and I am showering, getting ready for work. All of a sudden, I hear banging, pounding . . .somewhere afar off. I quickly take inventory in my mind of what this might be. . . my water pipes are about explode? . . .my washing machine is off balance? . . . a home invasion? I hastily finish up my shower to go play mama bear and make sure the family is ok. When I arrive on the scene downstairs, I quickly realize it is a case of sibling rivalry. My teenage son, apparently needed to use the restroom. Given that that the upstairs bathroom is occupied, he makes his way to the downstairs bathroom. Except, this is my daughter's bathroom. The place where she hibernates all morning long until she transforms herself from caterpillar to butterfly each morning. It would appear that she is convinced that every school day is a "walk on the red carpet" and the paparazzi are on standby, waiting to see how she will look when she arrives at school each day. Now when my teenage son enters her zone, all hell breaks loose. This sends my daughter into a 51/50 head spin. She pounds down the door, making it perfectly clear, she can waste no time waiting on something so trivial as someone needing to use the restroom. . . apparently, Madame Butterfly gets her assertiveness from her mother!

Daylight Savings Time

It's time to set your Aztec Sun Stone forward!

Does your car have a name?

When I was growing up, my family always had older model cars that were most often in "less than perfect" condition. For some odd reason, my family had a tradition of naming our cars. We had the Golden Goose, Betsy, etc., etc. These names represented our sentiment toward our car; a term of endearment.

In addition to naming our car, we would also talk to our car. There were many mornings when, due to a bad starter, our car would sputter and not start. Whenever this happened, my mother would pat it on the top of the dashboard and say, "come on Betsy" and just like clockwork, the car would start up. If we were running low on fuel, Mom would make a special plea, "just get us home, Betsy" and sure enough, we would make it safely to our destination with plenty of fuel to spare. It was magical. . . .as if our car had some sense of loyalty to the family, . . . as if our car knew that it had a special mission of transporting our rather large family to a fro safely. Of course these conversations with our car were always followed by my mother making the sign of the cross as a way of asking God to travel with us.

These were the traditions that as kids, we never thought to question. Looking back at these memories really makes me laugh. I think if I named my car or held conversations with it, my kids would probably really worry about me. I guess as kids, we never though to question it. We really thought that our Mom had superpowers and when she talked, our car listened! Although I have never named any of my cars, I still hold the tradition of asking God to travel with us on any road trip. . . that's mandatory! ♥

Couture Denim AKA Skinny Jeans

According to Style Bible, every self-respecting fashionista should have at least ONE favorite pair of couture denim (AKA skinny jeans) in her wardrobe. Unfortunately the trend of skinny jeans is here and does not appear to be going away any time soon. I quite don't understand this fashion trend that accentuates your silhouette with chicken legs and makes your feet appear 10 times larger than they really are. Nevertheless, I can't leave the mall these days without buying my daughter skinny jeans. She now has a pair in every shade imaginable.

Now it wouldn't be quite so bad, except that my daughter wears size double zero (apparently she really did get the "skinny gene") Finding her size is quite a challenge, not to mention that trying on skinny jeans in the dressing room is a nightmare and nearly impossible since the legs on these jeans are tapered so tight that it literally takes two people to yank them off the ankle and over the heel.

Despite my lofty investment in this most recent fashion trend, I am looking forward to the day that this trend goes out of style. Now if my memory serves me correctly, I believe these form-fitting jeans were actually a trend in the 80's. That being said, . . . shouldn't it be "Hammertime" soon? ♥

A Very Important Date

Hot date with my daughters and their friends tomorrow. ★★★★
Going to the IMAX theater in Camarillo to watch Alice in Wonderland in 3D. ♥ Alice in Wonderland Trailer

Conversations in the car

Today's conversation in the car:

Too honest daughter: Mom, not to be mean, but you're getting old and sometimes I worry about what things will be like if you were gone.

Me: Don't think about that sweetie, I'm sure when the time comes, you'll be strong.

Too honest daughter: Yeah, I know. . . but I feel bad for my little sister. She's young, and . . . not to be mean but you're getting old. I would feel really bad if something happened to you. . . Where do you want to be buried?

Me: hmm. . . Probably in Gilroy, since most of my family that has passed is buried there.

Too honest daughter: Well, do you think you will be buried there?

Me: Not sure sweetie,. . . I'll be dead so I won't be in charge of my own burial. Now, jump out and check the mail before I die of old age right here in the car!♥

Rules of the game

The shortest person is always first in line for hitting the piñata.

You know you're getting old when. . . .

♥ Your back goes out more often than you do.
♥ You feel like the morning after when you haven't been anywhere the night before.
♥ Your idea of a night out is sitting out on the patio.
♥ Getting lucky means you find your car in the parking lot.
♥ You shop for health insurance the way you once shopped for shoes.
♥ Your children begin to look middle aged.
♥ Your idea of weight lifting is standing up.
♥ It takes twice as long to look half as good.
♥ Your secrets are safe with your friends because they can't remember them either.

Grocery Store Etiquette

On your next shopping excursion, remember these simple rules of Grocery Store Etiquette:
When steering a shopping cart, you must yield at all times. Do not recklessly proceed into the intersection without stopping, thus causing a near death experience for other shoppers.

Do not allow your children to steer the cart. It is almost guaranteed they will run into an unsuspecting customer, block an isle, or ram a carefully crafted display into oblivion.

No texting while driving a shopping cart. You're likely to clip someone's heel. Very painful!

Do not make eye contact with shoppers while talking on a bluetooth device. Most unsuspecting shoppers will answer you, only to be completely embarrassed when they discover that you were not speaking to them in the first place.

Don't cause an avalanche in the produce section and then walk away as if you didn't notice.

Deal swiftly with your child's tantrum. Helpful tip: If all else fails, tell your child you will buy whatever they want and then "accidentally" leave it out of the shopping cart just before approaching the register. Note: This may sound politically incorrect however, it is the lesser of two evils.

Once in line, there is no "running back for the item you forgot". (although it's ok to send your spouse or child so long as they can make it back in time without holding up the line)

Obey the "10 items or less" rule. (bring a calculator if this seems too complicated)

Leave your shopping cart in better condition than you found it. i.e. do not leave your grocery list, old ads, napkins, an empty Starbucks cup, etc. etc. in the cart.

Return your cart to the designated area. Do not block prime parking spots or allow your cart to drift aimlessly into someone's vehicle.

Warning: Failure to follow these simple rules of Grocery Store Etiquette will result in extremely bad karma.

Loteria Card Reading

If you look closely, it appears there is a hidden message here. Somebody is planning to give their corazon "la bota"!

Got Ashes?

If you are a good Catholic you made time in your busy day to attend mass and receive your ashes marked in the shape of a cross on your forehead. The ashes come from burning the blessed palm branches used during the Palm Sunday celebration of the previous year. The marking of the foreheads with ashes symbolizes that the person belongs to Jesus Christ, who died on the cross and rose again from the dead three days later. Then, to choose what you will give up for Lent: that is, give up something for forty days until Easter as a form of penance or self sacrifice.

When I was growing up, if my family didn't make it out to mass,we would come across a "Good Catholic" and simply "borrow" some of their ashes and apply them to our forehead. In retrospect, this seems so unethical.. . . I hope God still loves us♥!

Brothers

Urban dictionary's definition of brother:

Someone of the male persuasion (doesn't have to be related) who you are very close with. Someone whose opinion and insight you value over anyone elses. Someone that you desire only the best for them in life with no strings attached. Someone who has impacted and influenced your life for the better♥.

Mega Tasking

Does multi-tasking bore you? Try Mega Tasking: Doing more than 5 tasks at one time.

Cowboy Proverb

"Courage is being scared to death - and saddling up anyway." ~John Wayne

Catholic Guilt

Confessions to the Padrecito

Forgive me Father for I have sinned. It's been forever quite some time since my last confession:
Let's see, ugh. . .well, for starters:
My library books are all overdue
I've been texting while driving again
I've "under-tipped" at a restaurant
I'm guilty of texting "OMG"
I regularly "sample" the grapes at the grocery store
I snuck into a movie without paying
I cut in line at Costco
I never rarely return my shopping cart to the designated area
I lied about my height (and weight) on my driver's license
So, ugh, Padrecito. . .are you busy next week? . . . cuz I think I may be back soon.

Confessions of a Valentine's Day Snoop

I have a confession to make. . . . I am a recovering Valentine's Day Snoop.
When my oldest son was but a little guy, I would eagerly wait for him to get home from school with his heart-shaped pouch filled with Valentine's Day Cards. Once he was fast asleep, I would read each card, one by one, until I found that special card that revealed his secret crush. I am proud to say that I no longer snoop through his Valentine's Day cards, after all, he is now 20 years old. . . .but I have 3 others at home, and with Valentine's Day just around the corner, I can only hope that I don't fall off the wagon.

New Craig's List Ad

Expert cupcake taster available for hire.

Top 10 List of things I love

10. m&ms in my popcorn
9. live mariachis
8. rodeos
7. farmer's markets
6. a parade
5. lighting sparklers on the 4th of July
4. wearing anything warm right out of the dryer
3. the smell of wet dirt after the first rain
2. walking barefoot on warm sand
1. roses from my Tia Frances' garden

. . . . hope you're enlightened!

Hermanas

Sisterhood is powerful. ~Robin M

(My Tia Ida & my Tia Frances ♥ . . .jovencitas)

Frazzled by Fruit Roll-Ups

Dear Grocery Store Clerk:
Today, while on my shopping excursion, I was lured into buying your advertised special: Buy four boxes of Fabulously Flavored Fruit Roll-Ups and save big $$$$.

Now you and I both know that I have no business buying four boxes of Fruit Roll-Ups. But according to your ad, you have to buy four boxes in order to realize the savings. To be quite honest with you, I feel a bit guilty giving my kids these processed, rolled up, sugar-filled, fabulously fruity snacks. Personally, I prefer fresh fruit. . . even organic if the deal is right. . . but this was one bargain I just couldn't pass up.

Now I pride myself in being a pretty savvy shopper, so I am sure you can understand how frazzled I was when I got home to find that I was charged full price for all four boxes of fabulous fruit flavors. Now although in my heart of hearts, I want to march right back into your store and demand a price adjustment, my good economic sense reminds me that time is money and gas is expensive. . . and so, now, Mr. Grocery Store Clerk: I join the ranks of other vulnerable mothers duped into your Fabulous Fruit Flavored, Fruit Roll-Up, Bait and Switch Conspiracy.

Very truly yours,
Frazzled by Fruit Roll-Ups

Body Image

I occasionally (always) shower with my 6 year old "baby girl". Now, you and I both know that at the age of 6, baby girl should be more than capable of showering on her own. But I have two objectives in mind:
Objective #1. Time management
Objective #2. Save some water for the fish

Now baby girl and I have our regular routine each morning, I wake her up and convince her that she needs a shower. (check)

She follows me into the bathroom. (check)
I get undressed to get into the shower, baby girl follows suit. (check,check)
. . . only today I catch a glimpse of myself in the mirror. Ughh. . .I need to add a few words to my vocabulary (diet, gym, pilates, etc. etc.)

I enter the shower and continue our routine, squeeze a palm full of shampoo into my hand and then into baby girl's. (check)

I brush my teeth and hand baby girl her toothbrush. (check)

I wash up and pass baby girl her scrubby and the javon. (check)

me: okay mamas, are you almost ready?
baby girl: yes, but Mommy, . . .did you know that Ade's boobs are bigger than yours?
me: Ughh, thanks sweetie, that really made Mommy's day. . . . Maybe it's time you start showering on your own.

I heart my smart ass daughter

So I'm at home in the living room with my kids. I'm trying to encourage my "computer challenged" son to set up a facebook page.

Me: Mijo, just try it, look, let me show you some fun stuff you can do
computer challenged son: No, that shit's for old people
Me: Come on Mijo, it can help you practice your computer skills
computer challenged son: No, I'm busy
Me:(in thought only) Doing what? You don't do a damn thing around here (good thing I didn't say that out loud)

I glance down at my facebook page Chat Box and notice 8 people online and ready to chat
Me: (hand over my mouth) OMG! Look at all these people who don't have a life (oops, did I say that out loud?)
smart ass daughter: uh, yeah Mom, you're one of them!
Me: Thanks smart ass, I love you♥

What's in a name?

I've given up my lonely nights, my "I call the shots", my "I get both sides of the bed", my "I'm a single parent" crutch, and now I am politely reminded to "hand over my last name and nobody gets hurt".