Wednesday, January 27, 2010
10. m&ms in my popcorn
9. live mariachis
7. farmer's markets
6. a parade
5. lighting sparklers on the 4th of July
4. wearing anything warm right out of the dryer
3. the smell of wet dirt after the first rain
2. walking barefoot on warm sand
1. roses from my Tia Frances' garden
. . . . hope you're enlightened!
Tuesday, January 26, 2010
Monday, January 25, 2010
Dear Grocery Store Clerk:
Today, while on my shopping excursion, I was lured into buying your advertised special: Buy four boxes of Fabulously Flavored Fruit Roll-Ups and save big $$$$.
Now you and I both know that I have no business buying four boxes of Fruit Roll-Ups. But according to your ad, you have to buy four boxes in order to realize the savings. To be quite honest with you, I feel a bit guilty giving my kids these processed, rolled up, sugar-filled, fabulously fruity snacks. Personally, I prefer fresh fruit. . . even organic if the deal is right. . . but this was one bargain I just couldn't pass up.
Now I pride myself in being a pretty savvy shopper, so I am sure you can understand how frazzled I was when I got home to find that I was charged full price for all four boxes of fabulous fruit flavors. Now although in my heart of hearts, I want to march right back into your store and demand a price adjustment, my good economic sense reminds me that time is money and gas is expensive. . . and so, now, Mr. Grocery Store Clerk: I join the ranks of other vulnerable mothers duped into your Fabulous Fruit Flavored, Fruit Roll-Up, Bait and Switch Conspiracy.
Very truly yours,
Frazzled by Fruit Roll-Ups
Sunday, January 24, 2010
I occasionally (always) shower with my 6 year old "baby girl". Now, you and I both know that at the age of 6, baby girl should be more than capable of showering on her own. But I have two objectives in mind:
Objective #1. Time management
Objective #2. Save some water for the fish
Now baby girl and I have our regular routine each morning, I wake her up and convince her that she needs a shower. (check)
She follows me into the bathroom. (check)
I get undressed to get into the shower, baby girl follows suit. (check,check)
. . . only today I catch a glimpse of myself in the mirror. Ughh. . .I need to add a few words to my vocabulary (diet, gym, pilates, etc. etc.)
I enter the shower and continue our routine, squeeze a palm full of shampoo into my hand and then into baby girl's. (check)
I brush my teeth and hand baby girl her toothbrush. (check)
I wash up and pass baby girl her scrubby and the javon. (check)
me: okay mamas, are you almost ready?
baby girl: yes, but Mommy, . . .did you know that Ade's boobs are bigger than yours?
me: Ughh, thanks sweetie, that really made Mommy's day. . . . Maybe it's time you start showering on your own.
Saturday, January 23, 2010
So I'm at home in the living room with my kids. I'm trying to encourage my "computer challenged" son to set up a facebook page.
Me: Mijo, just try it, look, let me show you some fun stuff you can do
computer challenged son: No, that shit's for old people
Me: Come on Mijo, it can help you practice your computer skills
computer challenged son: No, I'm busy
Me:(in thought only) Doing what? You don't do a damn thing around here (good thing I didn't say that out loud)
I glance down at my facebook page Chat Box and notice 8 people online and ready to chat
Me: (hand over my mouth) OMG! Look at all these people who don't have a life (oops, did I say that out loud?)
smart ass daughter: uh, yeah Mom, you're one of them!
Me: Thanks smart ass, I love you♥