Tuesday, September 13, 2011
As a mother, I have always seen my role as making sure my children know that they are the center of my life, to provide them with love, warmth, comfort and guidance. To offer them support to shape their confidence, give them consejos, and yes, sometimes make unreasonable demands and believe that I can control their destiny.
Now there is a delicate balance between mama bear and mama beast. Like many of the mother figures in my life, I have a hard time with this delicate balance.
In fact, I come from a long line of strong-willed, controlling, overbearing mothers, grandmothers, great-grandmothers and tias who, having all the best intentions, raised their young men to be, well, lets just say the term "mamas boys" would be an understatement. I often recall how my grandmother waited on my tios hand and foot. They were her life and her purpose far beyond the days of their youth, beyond the days of their marriages, and beyond the days of their divorces. And she, being true to the family name, "Reyes", treated her sons like kings.
I must say, in all fairness, I didn't become all dis-functional, overbearing, and controlling overnight; these skill sets take years to build up and use expertly.
. . . . And so, I am convinced that it will be a life long challenge for me to learn how to cut the apron strings and allow my children the healthy space they need to fulfill their own destiny. To step back and allow them to fall, fail, learn to dust themselves off and get back up, but I will always be here, admiring from afar, and will try my hardest not to think out loud. ♥